Of bubble-wrap and coloured cables

And there is also this: Of bubble-wrap and coloured cables

Check that out occasionally, there will be regular additions unlike this poor, abandoned blog.

The Alphabet for Adults

I'm missing those alphabet books we had as kids. Lovely illustrations and a word or phrase for every letter reduced the entire language into a manageable twenty-six pages.

Times pass, and the comfort of that tiny package of language has long since been forgotten.

So here's the alphabet again, re-written to suit the exigencies that three decades of existence impose.

A is for Apple, for Eve ate one naked
B is for Butchery and other entertaining sports
C is for Caroline, who was struck by an axe
D is for Dunces, for they never get a mention
E is for Eric, the small, yellow, plastic pencil sharpener
F is for Fuck
G is for Gallantry, as evil deeds done gallantly earn respect
H is for Happiness when tears subside
I is selfish
J is for Jelly and organs that wobble
K is for Kameroun, that is not spelled that way but should be.
L is for Laughing at other people’s expense
M is for Making love with your socks on
N is for Neville, the naughty colour
O is for Surprise on a little girl’s face
P is done within the lines
Q is for Quirky, as if you had any doubt
S is for Steve, a sausage that means business
T is for Topazium, the fifth element
U is for Unctuous, a word with too many vowels
V is for Valhalla, an afterlife to die for
W is for Wallace and his seven mystical accountants
X is for X-Ray because Xylophone just won’t do
Y is a question on a young lady’s mobile phone
Z is for Zulu according to an ancient mariner

Text

She stepped into a bright night
Brighter than any night should be
Stars the size of golf balls shone
Fiercely the moon lit every shade

Clearly something was amiss
Nights have no right to outshine day
And yet she seemed unperturbed

A huge dog stood right before her
Larger than any dog should be
Eyes the size planets glared
Fur on end in furious rage

The bright night lit razor fangs
The angry brute prepared to pounce
And she hasn’t seen a thing

Then the world turns upside down
And inside out and wrong way round
Galaxies coil, spill their guts
The sea boils blue, the sky blood red

Below her feet, gaping void
Above her head demons despair
And still she will not blink

Delicate fingers, nails so pink
Brush an errant hair aside
And absent eyes of hazel grey
Peek at a small device

To her despair
There’s nothing there
He hasn’t even called.